Why School Food Sucks

One of the most debated topics in school is, of course, the food. Everyday people ask what is for lunch, and the answer is usually replied to with groans, but on special days, like chicken patties and nuggets, people actually are happy. But those days are far and few, and they serve grilled cheese and rubber dogs far more often than those. And then they are those days that you don?t even know what they are serving, it may be called spaghetti and meatballs, but you never can tell whether the meatballs are actually beef, or if they are just leftover chicken from nugget day weeks ago.

People might be saying something like, ?I love school lunch everyday.? Well, I?m sure that you do love school lunch, at least the fries, because that?s what most people buy, a large batch of greasy fries. The fries aren?t even always that good, probably 50% of the time the fries are either cold, burned, or just plain saggy. I?ve actually seen fries that weren?t even cooked, just a lump of ?potato? ready to be put in the grease. But the other half of the time, the fries are very good, and are worth taking from people sitting around you, unless they happen to be one of those people who spit on their fries.

So you have the fries, but what about to put on them? Fries aren?t that great alone, they need salt/pepper or ketchup. There is never a lack of salt or pepper, and taking a handful of each would still leave enough for the rest of the school to put on their fries. Ketchup is the missing link here. There is usually two or three ketchup bottles on the table, and unless you are one of the first people in line during first lunch, the one most convenient for you to use is empty, or spurting. The ones on the other side are almost always full, but they are on the other side. Why don?t they move one from the other side to where the empty one is? Doesn?t that make sense to you? But that never happens, and its always a disappointment to find that you have to circle the table in order to get the damn ketchup, and even worse when those are empty, which is usually what happens during third lunch.

You might be thinking, "wow, this guy really hates school lunch." You would be very true in saying that. It would be one of the truest things to come out of your mouth. Especially when it comes to the cheeseburgers. I don?t know why I ever buy the cheeseburgers; maybe it's because I just love cheeseburgers so much, but these things are a disgrace. There should be an 11th commandment added just for them: ?Thou shall noth buyeth school cheeseburgers.? They are simply one of the most vial things ever created. From an unnamed source, we'll refer to him as "Mr. Gumperdink", I learned that in '02-'03 school year, the school used grade F meat. The school has since moved up from that, now we have grade E meat. But what is grade E meat? Is it a mixture of all meat used from the last month?s leftovers? Is it from the intestines of a grunt calf with mad cow disease? Or is that the grade F meat and this is meat from pigs? brains and chicken feet? No one knows. Or perhaps someone did know, and they are now part of this grade E meat that so many people eat everyday. But that isn?t even the end of the cheeseburger menace. There are many that were actually hamburgers, and they just added a slab of cold cheese onto it, which isn?t really that good. And if you are a lucky one where your cheese is melted, there is always the bun which often has white powdery substances on them, which taste nasty. What about how the meat is cooked too? There have been several cases where the cheeseburger has meat that is still bleeding inside, and you can even hear the ?meat? talking to you.

While the food is something to be dreaded, that's not the only reason why lunch sucks. You have a chance of either being lucky, or being royally screwed. On nugget day, probably the most popular day of the school lunch calendar, you are faced with a choice. One side gives you 6 nuggets, the other 5. Obviously you want the six nuggets, but that line is always much longer. The 5 nugget side is much shorter, but its only 5 nuggets. Every nugget day everyone that buys nuggets is faced with this decision. Its not a big one for people who cut in front of 90% of the line, but its still a choice that must be made. There is also the dilemma of pizza day. You want to get pizza, but you also want fries. But fries cost extra on pizza day. You want the extra food, but you have to pay extra. And the pizza isn?t even that great; clockwork pizza is definitely much better. Every hungry student must choose between the lesser amount of food but better tasting pizza, a batch of large fries, or the disgusting hamburgers with fries (which give you the most food, but is also the least appetizing). The easiest solution to this problem would be the school not making fries cost extra, less people would buy hamburgers, and buy pizza, so they sell more pizza, less hamburgers, and a little more fries.

Now there is the annoying problem of third lunch. Everybody should know what I mean by this. The food is cold, there is very little of the food remaining, and there is hardly ever any ketchup. The only promising thing about it is that there is only one period left. But that doesn?t outweigh the rest. During first lunch, you can buy extra of anything, but at third lunch, there is hardly any food, and its possible for the school to run out of food, and you can never buy extra food. It's one thing that the food is cold, it?s even worse that there is so little of it. How can this problem be solved? By either not allowing first lunchers to buy extra food, or by simply buying enough food for all lunches, which will bring in more money from people who don?t buy the crappy third lunch food.

With all this crap going throughout lunch, people need a safe haven. Something they can eat which will actually taste good, and be made out of real food and not some mystery substance. You might be wondering what this is, but you shouldn?t have to. They are found in the pizza isle, cost 35 cents each, or three for a dollar, and can be found in various flavors. They are called cookies, and are the absolute greatest thing to have come out of school. With options of chocolate chunk, M&Ms, sugar, chocolate cookie dough, and many more, there are cookies for everyone. There are even times when the cookies are undercooked, and are like eating cookie dough with melted chocolate in them. With cookies this good, it?s a wonder that people buy lunch instead of a few cookies and a drink to go with.

Why exactly did I write this article, you might ask. I'm as fed up with our school's lunch as the next person, and my points are completely valid. As students, we deserve better from our school than what we're getting now. When it comes down to it, a single good desert cannot rectify the vile crud that is normally associated with school lunches.